Valley+Group

Scene 1 Caesar : like march 15th is totally here Soothsayer: but deffinatly not like gone Caesar Artmidorus : read this document, like its totally important don't like wait to read it Decius: um, like totally read mine ! (hands him document) Artimidorus: please like read mine first caesar Caesar : what is wrong with you, ill do what ever i want gosh... Artimidorus: alright i wouldnt wait to read it Caesar totally read it now ! [Popilus wispering to Cassius] Popilius : Cassius I totally wish you guys luck today. Cassius : like what are you talking about?

Cassius: I totally thing that Popilius Lena may know our like plan?!?! Brutus: he is totally talking to Caesar watch to see what he like says! Cassius: Casca, you totally need to be quick we could be like stopped. What will we do ! Either i or Caesar will like die if our secret like gets out. Brutus: like calm down he didn't tell him our plan

Caesar: don't be like silly, you can't fool me. do not try to flatter me so you can like get what you want. your brother has been like banished i will totally not bring him back with out reason. Metellus: like im not a good enough reason to get my brother back .?!?! Brutus: i would totally love if you would like take back Publius's banishment like asap it would totally be amazing. Caesar: like Brutus i thought we were buddies ?!?! Cassius: like dont mind him, i would so love it if you allow Publius back into the mall. Caesar: sorry like begging doesn't work for me. i am so much more popular than you and your begging doesn't change my mind. I am as constant as a shopping spree which nothing can come in between. So like I said before he will be banished like end of discussion. mkay! Cinna: oh caesar like please Caesar: um, would you try to close the best stores in the mall, didn't think so ! Decius: like gorgeous Caesar ! Caesar: nothing is going to change my mind at all I didn't change for Brutus duh. Casca: hello hands like kill him already ! (Caesar stabbed)

Caesar: Brutus, I thought we were like bff's i guess not, well then i should like die Cinna: like freedom totally Cassius: like where is Antony Trebonius: he totally went to his house he was like stunned Brutus: what we did was such a good deed and totally helped Caesar from being scared of like dying so like lets totally bathe in his blood !

Brutus: like who is coming ? Servent: Antony totally has a message he wants to give to you: He says like, If Brutus promises to not totally kill Antony and to like have you explain to him why Caesar should have died then he will totally still love dead Caesar, but like not as much as Brutus. And he will totally go along with it all and with whatever Brutus has in mind to like do. Brutus: tell him he can totally come talk to me and he will deffiantly not like get hurt ! Servent: I'll totally get him !

Brutus: he will totally be on our side Cassius: He is pretty fishy and he scares me, but I hope we can like count of him.

Brutus: Like hey Mark Antony Antony: Like Caesar is totally dead ! Everything you did didn't even like matter. I totally don't know what you like want to do, like kill more people, cause more like chaos. If you want to kill me totally do it right now. I would totally want to be killed right now next to Caesar if that is totally your plan. Brutus: wow, like don't beg us to kill you. we are not like bad people we did this all to help Caesar. we will totally not kill you we have huge hearts full of love for you Antony.

Brutus: we will totally tell you why we killed Caesar there was deffinatly a reason duh. Antony: I don't like disagree with what you like did. Now, let me like hug all of you. Marcus Brutus, Caius Cassius, Decius Brutus, Metellus, Cinna, Casca, and Trebonius. Now that I like did that you will either see me as like a coward of like a bff. I like totally did love Caesar, and it muct be like to bad to see me like being nice to your killers. Like totally forgive me ! This spot is where you totally died and where you lie stabbed. Cassius: like I totally don't blame you for saying all those good things about Caesar, but like are you our new bff or not. Antony: I will totally be your bff if you tell me how Caesar was dangerous. Brutus: our reasons like totally make sense and you will totally agree with them Antony: mkay, can i like give a speech at his funeral Brutus: totally!

Cassius: I'm totally worried about this speech he is going to give Brutus: you will totally not blame us in your speech for killing Caesar, only say good things about Caesar or you will totally not allowed to be a part of the funeral. Antony: whatever you like say

Antony: like i'm so sorry for being nice to those who like murdered you. this is what is left of the best man like ever. Something bad will totally happen to those that like killed you I know it. Destrusction will totally be common soon and it will not bother anyone that it will occur. But they will totally get revenge for this.

you are like Octavius' servent right ?

Octavius servent: I am totally his servent ! Antony: like you totally need to go tell him what happened it is not safe for him like at all here. no wait like come with me and watch my speech then go to him and tell him all of the people's reactions. like totally help me out here.

Scene 2 Brutus: Everyone like be quiet and listen. Cassius would you mind taking some of these people somewhere else. We will like tell you all why Caesar is dead. [Cassius leaves with some of the mall customers] Brutus: Okay, just listen to my reasons. Believe and respect me and my reasons. If there is anyone here who like loved Caesar, just know that my love for him was no less. No matter how much I loved Caesar I like totally love the mall even more like everyone should. Like what would you rather have: Caesar still alive and everyone buying all his stuff, or Caesar dead and like everyone free to keep their money for themselves? Caesar was a friend of mine so I mourn for his death; he was a good at bargaining so i like totally honor him; but his need for power over everyone else to get their money is why I had to kill him. Is there anyone here that would like rather be giving Caesar their money? I hope that I haven't offended anyone but if I did then like speak up now. All: None, Brutus, none at all like for real! Brutus: Then like nobody is offended. We have totally not hidden Caesar's awesomeness or overemphasized his nerdiness and rudeness for why he was killed. Here comes his body, which like Mark Antony cries over, and even though he didn't help in Caesar's death, he will get like soooooooooo much benefit from his death. With this I'm outta here to hit up some shops, that, I killed my favorite lova for the good of the mall, and i would totally kill myself for the mall if it was needed. All: O my gosh Brutus you so need to live! First Citizen: wow like Brutus is totally awesome! Second Citizen: Give him a gift card! Third: He should like so have Caesar's popularness. Brutus: My peeps--- First Citizen: Shut up bf's. Brutus: Peeps, let me shop alone, and, for my good, like stay here with Antony. Give butterfly filled respect to Caesar's corpse, and total attention to Antony's speech like you would a rainbow. Like pretty please with a shopping spress on top don't leave, except for me, until Antony has given his fruity speech. First Citizen: Shut up lets listen to Mark Antony. Third Citizen: totally, Go up and speak, totally awsome, Antony. Second Citizen: Caesar was soooooooo uncool oh my gosh Antony: I like totally didn't come here to praise Caesar's awsomeness, only to bury him. Popular Brutus has like told you all that Caesar was hungry for power over the mall but that is not true whatsoever! Caesar was like my bff, he was nice to me and didn't want power at all he even turned down the thrown like three times, that sooo isn't ambitious. Caesar my love brought back like captives home to Rome and yet the popular Brutus calls him uncool and ambitious. When the poor groupies cried, Caesar has like cried too. Does this Caesar seem so uncool? Yet popular Brutus names him it. Third Citizen: wow Antony is so awsome and cool, there isn't anyone who is better than him. First Citizen: Brutus was cool and soooo was not like ambitious. Antony: Like I am not supposed to stir your big cute hearts to rage cuz I would totally upset Cassuis and Brutus. Who you cuties know are so popular. I choose to wrong my dead bff, myself, and you than rather wrong the o so amazingly popular. And like blondes I am like totally kiddin like a Abercrombie and Fitch deal ever happening. But here is like a paper with the adorable seal of Caesar. I don't wanna read it cuz then your gonna be like all over him giving Caesar's dead body pedicures and straightning his hair. You will beg to keep memories of him. All: Ugh like Mark Antony you totally need to read the will! The excitement's too much! Antony: Chill out guys like umkay? Like i think I have taken this like too far already. I don't want to wrong the so popular men. Citizen: They were nerds! Read the will! Antony: Umkay well you all know this gorgeous toga that is in Caesar's wardrobe. Look at this spot where like Cassius's dagger ran through. Here where Casca left his mark. And here the place where the loved Brutus stabbed. Caesar loved him so dearly! His heart was like totally crushed. Don't you feel the pitty for my honey Caesar? Look at his stab boo boos! First Citizen: O MY GOSH! Second: O amazing Caesar! Fourth: The traitors was jerks this is bs! All: RAWR we will wreck the traitors and burn their wardrobes! Antony: Umkay like guys I so don't mean to stir you up. They are popular and cool and have reasons for owning Caesar. I am like so not a good speaker like the amazing Brutus is, I don't come to change your minds. I am just straight up man who loves my baby Caear and came here to give him a funeral which they totally let me do. I am not here to sway you just be honest. All: We will revolt. [ The citizens go to find the conspirators] Antony: I am such a bad boy.

Scene 3 Cinna: I totally wanted to have dinner with Caesar tonight, but thats definitely not happening. Citizens: What is your name? Where do you think your going? Where do you dwell? Are you like single or taken? And you better answer us directly, briefly, wisely, and truly. Cinna: To answer all your questions directly, briefly, wisely, and truly, I'm gonna have to say I'm single. Citizen: Are you like saying that married people are fools? I'm gonna beat you if you keep insulting us. Now keep talking. Cinna: I am going to Caesar's funeral. Citizen: As a friend or like an enemy? Cinna: As a friend. Citizen: And what do you dwell? Cinna: Uhhh, I dwell the capitol. Citizen: Your name? Cinna: My name's Cinna. Citizen: Oh my gosh! Kill him! Kill him! He a conspirator. Cinna: No! I'm definitely Cinna the poet, not Cinna the conspirator. Citizen: Like it totally doesn't matter, you still have the same name. Kill him! (Citizens attack Cinna) Citizens: Now we must continue this and like kill all the other conspirators.