Old+People+Group

Caesar:Its march uhh 15th and I'm still alive and kicking, BECAUSE I AM CAESAR! I AM EVER CONSTANT! I AM ALL POWERFUL! I AM... uhh, I cant remember what I was goin' to say... Soothsayer (superstitious home employee): Listen Mr. Caesar, your not the king, this is a //retirement home.// Many of our occupants like you, so they made you a //makeshift leader.// Im telling you that something bad is coming your way today, you need to listen! Caesar: I'll be fine boy, why I remember back in 1944 when I fought in and won the great chimpansee war... Soothsayer: Sir, you did not, for the last time, fight the chimpansees in 1944. Actually, there never was a great chimpanse war... Caesar: Ahh, dont worry about me, I am and always will be Caesar, Aint nothin' gonna hurt me! Artemedirous: Caesar! Caesar! Read this letter here, you have to! Caesar: Leave me alone sonny! Artemedirous: You aint thicker than a $5.00 malt ya fool! Why, you cant even see that your in a lot of trouble- Publius steps between the two Publius: Go on and hit the road Boyo! signals to door and two of the home employees come in and drag Artemedrious away. In the senate Popilus: I dont have a good feeling about this meetin' y'all. Its just like when Buck Rogers fought in the indian war that one time, I got a bad feelin' about it. Cassius: Why poppy? Popilus: What? What are we talking about? Brutus: What did he say good buddy? Cassius: He said he hopes today goes well bud! [pats Brutus' shoulder and smiles really big] Cassius: But ya know Brutus, Im having a gut feeling about this one right here, and I already had my enema and diaper change today. I think the old booger Caesar knows our purpose. [Poplius and Caesar are talking, and poplius smiles really big] Brutus: Don't flip a wig! Ya see Popilus just showed teeth. He aint no commie, look at them pearly whites!! Cinna: Casca, you go 'n hit that o'l tard first.(whisper) Caesar: Is anyone dead or dying in yee ol retirement Village?... I am here to care for the great and devout citizens of Lucky Springs Nursing Home! Metellus: Most golden 90 year old, still kicking like a jive fox. I give you my rice pudding, please step down from you position. Caesar: Cool it. I aint old as the rest of these coots. No amount of Rice pudding can move me. Not rice pudding, fiddlesticks or tapioca. Even your custard won't bring your brother and recieving sponge baths in this Retirement home for I am your leader and God if needed be. So keep your sorrys in a sack. Metelles: Does anyone have pudding more worthy than mine? To cherry my brother back. Brutus: I give yee Caesar my 32 year old tapioca, please step down and delight in this great gelatinous dish! Caesar: Have you gone bonazas Brutus? Cassius: Caesar don't be a duck butt! We don't even remeber Publius Caesar: I aint as old as the rest of yaas. I am as constant as back rubs on Tuesdays. Nothing can cop a knot like foxy Caesar. Elvis is more likely to come back from the dead before I change my mind. Metellus: Elvis is alive?!?!?!?!?! Caesar: No, it was a metaphor ya buffoon! Cinna: Ol Caesar! Decius Great Caesar! Caesar: Even Brutus's tapioca won't change anything. //-Caesar is attacked by light hitting, until Brutus smacks him with a cane, then fall Caesar//! Caesar: My hip, arthritis ahh! Even you Brutus!? -Dies- Brutus: Im sorry Caesar, but its for the good of the home! Tapioca could not break my love for lucky springs even, not even on double scoop tuesday. Cinna: How ya like this boot lickin! ha! Liberty! Freedom! No more Caesar! Tell the whole community Casca: Go on the good chair and speak Decius: And ol Cassius too. Enter Antonys Nurse Nurse: Antony wants to know if he comes here, will you not hurt him? Brutus: We will not hurt Antony for he always nice and help set up bingo night. Nurse: I will get him then Brutus: He is a nice fellow he gave me rice pudding once Cassius: I don't trust him he is too attached to Caesar.
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Brutus:Here comes Mark Antony. Welcome Mark. Antony: Oh, buddy. Ceasar, my bingo buddy... hit me as well! I'd be honored to fall with my dear friend. Brutus: Oh Antony, what an odd duck you are. This was for the good of our home. Deep in our hearts we have felt that it must be done if this retirement home will stay so calm. My foot cannot strike you hard enough to hurt that ol' head of yours. Besides, the weakness that comes with my age will not allow me to lift this leg again. Cassius: Exactly wise geezer, We did what was best for honorable Lucky Springs! Brutus: I will explain to all why I have struck this old fart. But it is now too close nap time. Antony: I must shake your hands. Forgive me, buddy ole' pal, Caesar. I am shaking the hand of the very men who have beat you in bingo for years, and now hath murdered you with light hitting and canes! And I have now done this horrible thing to you. Cassius: My friend, Antony-- Antony:Pardon me, Cauis Cassius. Cassius:Can we count you as your friend? Antony:Ya thats why i shook hands with ya scoundrels, are you crackin' wise? Bah, nevermind, Im going to get my sponge bath Oh POPILUS!?!?!?!?! [Aside to Brutus Antony leaves] Cassius: Don't count on him he is a tricky son of a gun. Aside to Cassius Brutus: I will talk to the community and explain our reason for killing Caesar. Then I will let ol Antony speak. There will be more good than harm. Just like a prune juice after a bad game of bingo. [Aside to Cassius] Cassius: Fine ya buffoon Antony is alone with the body Cassius and Brutus leave Antony: Fiddlesticks, I can't believe these whippersnappers did this to ya. The community will go bananas so much that no one will visit us on Sundays. Not that anyone does anayway... I must do something! Enters Octavius Nurse Nurse: I give Octavius his medication. He recieved telegrams to come here. Antony: Tell Octavius of his father's death and to return to the community. Nurse: I will sir. Antony: Oh Caesar mah friend!

Brutus: Let's split up. I will go into the cafeteria, and you move into the bingo room. Whoever follows you, tell them our reasons for killing Caesar. Cassius: I will go. Random old person: Quiet! Brutus will tell us his reasons for Caesars slaying. Brutus: I love this retirement home and the only way to keep it runnin' would be to remove the poison; which was Caesar. He would make all of us give him our rice pudding and make us slaves to his will. Would you all like to be slaves or free men? I loved Caesar dearly, but I love this home even more. Crowd: No Live, Brutus! Live! We want to be free and with much pudding! Brutus: I will go take a nap now. Do not follow me, say your final goodbyes to Caesar. Now listen to Antony and hear him for he has much to say about what happened. Crowd : Let us hear Mark Antony. They go to where Antony is Crowd: Ya! Caesar is dead we are better off without him! Citizen 1: He was evil and tried to take over the Home. Antony: Gentle homers hear me! Crowd: Peace we need to hear Antony. Antony: Friends, and fellow homers listen to me, I come to bury poor Caesar for Brutus killed him for he was ambitious if so i didn't notice. He loved the home very much but Brutus and his conspirators are honorable men and wouldn't lie right? They loved Caesar they say and they wouldn't lie for they are honorable men right? He brought us food many times and beat the other homes in all the home vs home tournaments did he not? He was even offered leader of the home three times nut he rejected this role every time does that seem ambitious. But they would not kill a non ambitous man would they for they are all very very honorable men right? I remember back in Nam me and Caesar fought many battles together, and we both liked this one nurse; her name was... it was a julie! That was it, and she was pretty boy she was pre... Crowd: Antony? Umm we want to hear about Caesar. Antony:Ohh ya right umm Im not trying to turn you against them (sly wink) but i only say what i know. -sobs- Hold on a minute for i need to collect myself (starts to sob) Crowd: Those nasty conspirators they killed Caesar we will get them! Antony: I even have Caesar' will but its not right for me to read it... but I will anyway. Antony: Well if i must it says I leave all my rice pudding and all my land and money and even my power scooters to all the homers. Crowd: He left us everything Kill Cassius Brutus and all the other conspirators! Enter Octavius's Nurse Octavius's Nurse: Mr.Octavuis at Caesar's home he beckons you he also said the Brutus and Cassius rode out of the Home on they're power scooters. Antony: Alright lets go. Antony slowly exits in his wheel chair.
 * __SCENE 2__**

//[citizens are walking in street and see Cinna walking by]// First Citizen: What is your name? Second Citizen:Where are you going? Third Citizen: What room is yours? Fourth Citizen: Are you married ? Cinna: I'm Single, and up for anything- im room 69, ladies. Second Citizen: Where are you going? Cinna: To Caesar's funeral Ima headed First Citizen: As a friend or enemy? Cinna: A Friend in need deserves puffs indeed Third Citizen:Whats your name crazy man? Cinna: Cinna's the name, protecting Rome and romancing the ladies is my game. Fourth Citizen: Kill Him he tried to kill Caesar! Cinna: No way man! I'm a retired poet! IM A LOVER NOT A FIGHTER! First Citizen: Kill him! //-They Kill Cinna and move on through the home-// All: Huzzah! //The mob moves on. __**FYI: The play should be less than 5 minutes so we need to make it a tad shorter and maybe say some of the lines faster when we do it.**__//
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