Hillbilly+Group+Pd.+1

Hillybilly Shakespeare Act III, Scene I Caesar = Sherriff Duke Antony = Earl Lepidus = Wade Brutus = Billy Bob Cassius = Billy Ray Casca = Beau Cinna = Buck Decius = Buddy Metellus Climber = Bobby Joe Trebonius = Bodean Popillius Lena = Jim Bob Publius = Grandpa Jed Artemidorus = Otis Soothsayer = Wilbur Setting: Southern West Virginia. A mountainside village. Sherriff Duke is walking to Billy Bob’s sporting good store. He sees Wilbur on his portch. Sherriff Duke: “Hidee Wilbur. Today’s 15th of March and yar perdickshun is jus doodley-squat?” Wilbur: “Lans-sake Duke, days not over jes yet. Duke: “Wilbur yens jes crazier than a run over dog.” Otis and Buddy approach Sherriff Duke Otis: “Howdy Sherriff Duke. I was wonderin if yed be readin my note nex?” Buddy: “That thar note is so dull it couldn't cut hot butter with a knife. We gots some huntin to do with da Sherriff. He no time for yer letter.” Sherriff Duke: “Buddy, shore a nuff I be readin that thar letter jus soons i git me some critters.” Inside Billy Bob’s store, Sherriff Duke talks to his friends about the hunting of animals that are causing problems for the town. The townsfolk think that Sherriff Duke is trespassing on their land and controlling their lives. Billy Bob believes he needs to be stopped and agrees to a plan to kill Sherriff Duke. Jim Bob: “Good luck Billy Ray on yer fox huntin” Billy Ray to Billy Bob: “Jim Bob musta dun figgerd out this here idear” Bodean takes Earl outside to clean the guns. Sherriff Duke: “Innybidy wonta discuss innythang furst?” Bobby Joe: “Sherriff Duke, I wuz wunderin if yed let me cousin outta yer jail cuz he wuz jus pickin a fight with innyone about innythang.” Sherriff Duke: “Jeb was all over Little Ed like a cheap suit. Fergit it Bobby Joe.” Billy Bob: “Yessir, Jeb s jus a yungin.” Billy Ray: “weren’t no harm dun.” Sherriff Duke: “Hush yer mouth. Jeb twus behaving s if his cornbread ain’t done. He ain’t nothin but gilty. Buck, Buddy, Beau: “purty pleaz!” Sherriff Duke: “tis a wunder I deecide the laws of this here town. Jeb isa gittin what e desurvs.” Beau: “Thats enuff talkin.” Beau shoots Sherriff Duke. Buddy, Buck, and Billy Ray also shoot at him. Last to shoot Sherriff Duke is Billy Bob Sherriff Duke: “I woodn’t hardly thought yed be hurtin me Billy Bob.” Sherriff Duke dies. Bodean returns to tell the others that Earl ran away when he heard the gunshots. The men plan to tell the villagers that Sherriff Duke was shot by accident when they were cleaning the guns for the fox hunt. They plan on having a funeral for Sherriff Duke at the local church’s graveyard. Billy Bob: “everybidy jus be understandin we hada git justis.” A boy enters the store: “Yessir Billy Bob, me ol’ man Earl wus wunderin if y’all could deecide sumthin. if he show up n don’t git in a fite, could yer be talking to em. I wuz beggin fer it.” Billy Bob: “Yens go fetch ‘em.” Earl: “Wernt y’all be pikin a fite? Yens sum splainin to do. Sherriff Duke wuz smart n hepful.” Billy Bob: “Justis wuz ginst us. Sherriff Duke wuz crazier than a run over dog and tuffer than a one-eard alley cat.” Earl: “Gee Billy Bob, forgit it cuz we be friens. Jus ackcept me a’fussin over im and talkin at som thar church service ” Billy Bob: “That wood rilly be somthin, aint it Billy Ray?” Billy Ray: “I dunno Billy Bob” Billy Bob: “Earl sed he be sayin the truth. Yous can be takin Sherriff Duke to be a’puttin him to peece.” Everyone leaves and Earl is alone with Sherriff Duke’s body. Earl: “I reckon I be getting me sum revenge Sherriff Duke. Yous reckon I be makin it up bout bein friens with them thar bloodsuckrs.” A stranger enters the store: “Sherriff Clem is a’comin to see Sherriff Duke. This shore duznt look as tho fox huntin is happinin” Earl: “Git Sherriff Clem as fast as greesed lightning. We be huntin scairt vermin til thay cunfess”